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Comprehensive Survey
A View from the Solarium RETRACTION: Wow, are you still reading
these things?!
As
another part of my Pickle Jar assignment (due tomorrow), I had to take
a survey for their use so that our editor can get easy articles. If she
doesn't give me credit for this, I'm not going to be happy.... Actually,
I got the idea for the question from another CPA student, who chose to
remain anonymous, basically because I got in major S-Word with the teachers
for doing this in the first place. See, I learned a valuable lesson. Students
studying for exams don't like to be disturbed.
SURVEY
QUESTION: "What makes you hang out with the people you hang out with?"
OR: "Whatmakesyouhangoutwiththepeopleyouhangoutwith?" (when in a
hurry)
ALSO: "Whaaat..... makes.... YOU..... haaaangg..... outtt..... with......
the.... people..... YOU...... hang..... out..... with.......?" (looking
at respondents like I would look at a dumb dog)
EVEN: "Why do you hang out with these losers?!" (in exasperation)
SOMETIMES: "Why do you hang out with the people you do, (rather bad word)!!"
THE RESULTS:
Total
number of respondents: 220 out of almost 14,000 students, so we have fairly
reasonable accuracy here....
7.7% each said:
-
General kindness to one another exists
-
They all share the same or similar interests
6.8% said:
5.9% said:
-
Respondents like each other
5.4% said:
5% each said:
-
Sex (big suprise...)
-
Drugs
4% said:
-
They are generous with their wealth
3.6% each said:
-
Respondents love each other
-
Get lost, Will!! (didn't hear survey question before refusal)
3.1% said:
2.7% each said:
-
They are good/great looking
-
Don't know (but tried to contemplate an answer)
-
Breast size
2.2% each said:
-
Refused query (after being asked question)
-
Drinking
1.8% said:
1.3% each said:
-
Trust
-
Peer pressure
-
Hate them / like to bug them
0.9% each said:
-
Their names aren't Will
-
One has a vehicle
-
Firm buttocks
-
Their bookbags match
-
Their shoes match
-
First people they met when they moved here
-
They're cute
-
They're communists
-
They have / use a sense of humor (no wonder I'm not popular)
-
They like the respondent
-
No choice
0.4% each said: (It's a good bet some of these actually
rate less)
-
Loyalty
-
They see the little leprechauns that the respondent does
-
Communication
-
Nowhere else to go
-
They pay the respondent money
-
They don't scare the respondent away
-
Good source of gossip
-
Exam answers
-
Good connections
-
Bad influence
-
They all enjoy discussing Will
-
Remind respondent of self
-
They don't emit odor
-
Have history with respondent
-
Like family of respondent
-
They borrow each other's clothes
-
They practice Judaism (not in a negative context, you can all put away
your machetes)
-
They share the same sexual orientation
-
They do things together
-
Their clothes all match
Just the sheer variety of responses here is amazing! I even got
to interview a few teachers, too! Specifically, the ones that followed
me around the halls during that special two-hour lunch. First, Ms. White
was trailing me, then Mr. LeRoux took her place when I wasn't looking,
then Ms. Dompierre, then Mr. Hamilton, Ms. Densmore, Mr. Burke, Mr. Hart,
and finally Ms. Harbord. Everywhere I went, there was a teacher who followed,
and that's weird because I cover a lot of ground in the course of
a lunch hour, once I even did 36 laps around the school, which means that
I would pass any given point 9-16 times in my rounds of a three-story school,
determined by the number of FICTION titles in our library. I think they
attached a tracking device to my backpack one day. That would explain how
they always catch me when I skip class. I gotta find a better spot to hide
than the Solarium. Until next time, this has been Will Matheson for the
Pickle Jar sophomore survey department.
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